Our third grandchild, Alice, was born a year ago today. It is amazing how time does fly! Alice was born at a healthy weight, not premature, but she had a small tear in her lung. She was in the NICU for a few days. She is doing great now! Beautiful, charming and so happy! I wanted to share how it felt to be back in the NICU after almost 30 years.

Our daughter Jacqui, my preemie, is now 30. She arrived 2 months early after an emergency cesarean. She was drowning in my blood. My placenta, kidneys, liver and spleen had spontaneously hemorrhaged. Needless to say, we were both very ill. I did not see Jacqui for weeks, but in pictures. My NICU experience was different. My visits to her were very short, most of the time she (in her isolette) was brought to me.

Our daughter-in-law, Kelienne, had an unplanned cesarean too, after hours of intense labor. During her labor, Jacqui (a post partum doula), was one of her birthing coaches. I was given the honor of being one of the people to stay with Alice in the NICU. It was so surreal, watching the nurses, the babies...

Holding Alice I realized, after all this time, my heart was beginning to heal.

When Jacqui was born, my son Justin, was 18 months old. While in the hospital for five weeks, I only saw him once. I missed him so much. My heart ached to hold my babies.

One night in the NICU, Justin and I sat for a long time, holding his daughter Alice. Holding hands and reveling in her perfection. As we sat together, with silent tears, I knew we had come full circle.

 "The soul is healed by being with children"
- Fyodor Dostoyevsky